As I live and learn here at St. Anne’s, I continually recognize the power and importance of so many of the ministries present in this parish community. This past week, I have been involved with the Ministry of Consolation. It’s an amazing ministry – one present in many parishes – that brings the power of community and Church to those who mourning the loss of a loved one.
The ministry started here about two years ago under the guidance of another seminarian – now Fr. David Regan. In many ways, this ministry provides the comfort and direction a family in grief needs so they don’t need to think or worry about the many details linked to the loss of a loved one. This allows those who are suffering to fully appreciate and enter into the wake service, funeral liturgy and burial of their loved one.
For those who might not be familiar, here’s how the ministry works (I’m sure it’s similar in other parishes, too.) When the parish is notified about the death of a parishioner, a minister of consolation is called and she (or he) gathers a team of fellow ministers to work with and assist a grieving family. Members of the team invite the family to St. Anne’s, visit them at the funeral home or in their own home (whatever is best for them). Here, they walk the family through the entire process – explaining the process, working with a family to plan out the funeral mass, including selecting appropriate readings and hymns, and seeking to include as many members of the family as possible in the vigil service and funeral mass. All of this information is shared with the team and the Celebrant of the liturgy so he, too, is part of the planning of the liturgy.
The Vigil service generally takes place at the funeral home on the afternoon or evening before the funeral Mass. The Church calls us to keep watch, to keep “vigil” before their loved one. We do this by greeting those who visit us, praying in community at a simple prayer service and preparing for the Funeral Mass the next day. A member or two from the team generally attends the wake service and is present in case the family has any last minute questions or concerns.
On the day of the funeral, the ministers are once again present. They greet the family as they arrive, assist them with whatever they need for the liturgy (even thinking of tissues if they’re upset!) and provide them with a worship aid so they can participate in the liturgy without flipping through missalettes, etc. They pray with the family and help them throughout the liturgy, especially if they are taking a part in the liturgy (reading, placing the pall on the casket, bringing up the gifts, etc.). More than anything they do, their presence bears incredible witness to those who a
re grieving and upset.
These past weeks, I have had the opportunity to serve at some funerals and lead a wake service. One of the things that has stuck with me is the mystery of the Church community. It’s the first time that I have had to lead a wake service or offer a reflection at the service of someone who I really did not know personally. At first, truthfully, it felt a little uncomfortable, even a little bit less than genuine. However, as I have thought and reflected on my experiences here, I’ve come to realize that it is not necessarily about any one of us and/or our personal relationship that is most important. It’s our openness to be witnesses to and ministers of the hope and consolation that comes with new life in Christ!
The ministry started here about two years ago under the guidance of another seminarian – now Fr. David Regan. In many ways, this ministry provides the comfort and direction a family in grief needs so they don’t need to think or worry about the many details linked to the loss of a loved one. This allows those who are suffering to fully appreciate and enter into the wake service, funeral liturgy and burial of their loved one.
For those who might not be familiar, here’s how the ministry works (I’m sure it’s similar in other parishes, too.) When the parish is notified about the death of a parishioner, a minister of consolation is called and she (or he) gathers a team of fellow ministers to work with and assist a grieving family. Members of the team invite the family to St. Anne’s, visit them at the funeral home or in their own home (whatever is best for them). Here, they walk the family through the entire process – explaining the process, working with a family to plan out the funeral mass, including selecting appropriate readings and hymns, and seeking to include as many members of the family as possible in the vigil service and funeral mass. All of this information is shared with the team and the Celebrant of the liturgy so he, too, is part of the planning of the liturgy.
The Vigil service generally takes place at the funeral home on the afternoon or evening before the funeral Mass. The Church calls us to keep watch, to keep “vigil” before their loved one. We do this by greeting those who visit us, praying in community at a simple prayer service and preparing for the Funeral Mass the next day. A member or two from the team generally attends the wake service and is present in case the family has any last minute questions or concerns.
On the day of the funeral, the ministers are once again present. They greet the family as they arrive, assist them with whatever they need for the liturgy (even thinking of tissues if they’re upset!) and provide them with a worship aid so they can participate in the liturgy without flipping through missalettes, etc. They pray with the family and help them throughout the liturgy, especially if they are taking a part in the liturgy (reading, placing the pall on the casket, bringing up the gifts, etc.). More than anything they do, their presence bears incredible witness to those who a
re grieving and upset.These past weeks, I have had the opportunity to serve at some funerals and lead a wake service. One of the things that has stuck with me is the mystery of the Church community. It’s the first time that I have had to lead a wake service or offer a reflection at the service of someone who I really did not know personally. At first, truthfully, it felt a little uncomfortable, even a little bit less than genuine. However, as I have thought and reflected on my experiences here, I’ve come to realize that it is not necessarily about any one of us and/or our personal relationship that is most important. It’s our openness to be witnesses to and ministers of the hope and consolation that comes with new life in Christ!
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